Sacrificing Life
by J. Hicks
Summary: Sam makes a choice. Sequel to An Old Life


Song List:

1. Is There Life Out There: Reba McEntyre

2. It's Not Easy (Superman): Five for Fighting

3. One More Day: Diamond Rio

4. The Hardest Thing: 98 Degrees

5. When You Come Back To Me Again: Garth Brooks

6. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life): Green Day

7. Someday: Nickelback

8. She's Out Of My Life: 98 Degrees

9. Here's To The Night: Eve 6

10. Save Tonight: Eagle Eye Cherry

11. 100 Years: Five for Fighting

12. When You Come Back To Me Again: Garth Brooks

Denotes song

/ Denotes flashback

ALL CAPS: Denotes a change in POV

ENJOY!

GENERAL HAMMOND

Its days like today that the stress of being THE MAN doesn't get to me. No problems, no invasions, and even SG-1 is on simple recon. I swear Sam's replacement is the most injury prone person on Earth and that's including Daniel.

The thought had no sooner crossed my mind when the klaxons started blaring.

"General Hammond to the Control Room."

It might end up being one of those days after all.

"What is it?"

"It's Tok'ra IDC sir."

"Open the iris" and with that simple command the perfect day turned into just another one of those days.

JACK

For a mission with Captain Kavousicious it went surprisingly well. Even if it is just simple recon, hell he managed to injure himself on a recon mission before.

"So Jack, what do you think the payoff is for us pulling this mission off without a hitch?" Daniel asks me.

"Well Danny boy, I know that it was 100-1 three missions ago, cuz I had money on it. I figured that simple recon was a safe bet."

"Did you bet on this one?"

"No. I learned my lesson last time when he fell and sprained his ankle." I say, jerking my head to where my new Captain walks with Teal'c.

"Looks like you would have made a bundle if you had though." Daniel says as the sun suddenly shifts behind a cloud.

All of a sudden the planet that was deathly quiet just moments ago is filled with deafening noise.

"O'Neill, we must hurry back to the gate. It 'tis a go'a'uld mother ship." Teal'c says, pointing behind him.

"Shit!" What I thought was the sun moving behind a cloud was actually the mother ship coming through the atmosphere. I realize as I take off at a dead run towards the 'gate.

"Oh my god, would you look at that!" Captain Kavousicious says as he stops and is starring at the descending mother ship.

I remember my conversation with General Hammond a couple of days ago.

/"Colonel, just so you know your next few missions will be a recon or re-visiting old planet. Anything simple. Until Captain Kavousicious can prove he can handle anything more complex. I don't trust him to be able to help get you out of a difficult situation. I don't want to see you, Daniel, and Teal'c killed because of his inability to cope."

"Yes sir." I grind out.

"Colonel, don't bee too upset with him. No one can match up to the standards of Major carter. Just give him a little more time, and be open. I think its time we ALL realize that Major carter is not going to come back."

"Yes sir." I know that he means more than just SG-1 and himself. Even with all the "morale boosters" around here enthusiasm is low-real low./

I realized that the Captain wasn't with us and turned back to get him.

"Teal'c get yourself and Daniel back to the gate." I scream.

"No way, not without you Jack!" Daniel screams back at me as he and Teal'c turn to follow me.

"C'mon Captain, get your ass in gear! That's an order." I say to him as he only continues to stare upwards.

"I can carry him O'Neill." Just as Teal'c is lifting him into a fireman's carry the rings surround us.

There is no way for us to ready our weapons as the rings leave us surrounded by ready Jaffa. They march us off to another room only stopping to order Teal'c to set the Captain down. I've heard it so many times now that I know what the Jaffa is going to say before he even says it.

"Kneel before your God." He says as staff weapons are thrust into the back of our knees, forcing us to unwillingly kneel.

"I knew it was too good to be true." Daniel mutters beside me.

"So did I, Space Monkey, so did I."

GENERAL HAMMOND

"Sir we are getting a radio transmission."

"General Hammond, my name is Orion, I am of the Tok'ra. I am on an undercover mission to infiltrate a new go'a'uld system lord. Heh's ship was involved in a battle with another go'a'uld. He ordered the ship to the nearest planet so that we could make the necessary repairs. When he scanned the planet he found four people whose body chemistry seemed alien to the planet. He transported them aboard the ship. General Hammond I am sorry to inform you that it is SG-1. I am unable to help them escape. Their only hope is rescue. Only one or two people would go unnoticed. If you attempt a rescue with any more than that they will be captured also. Whomever you send will need great skill. If you choose to rescue, choose wisely. I must go before I am discovered. Good Luck General Hammond." And with that the wormhole disengaged.

"Sir are you going to attempt a rescue?" The officer at the control panel asks me.

"Of course I am."

"Do you think it will be successful?"

"That depends..."

"Depends?"

"On whether or not I can persuade Major carter to come back long enough to rescue them. I don't know if I even have the right to ask her this, but I believe she's the only one who can get them back alive." I answer him and walk back to my office to make one of the hardest phone calls of my life.

SAM

I knew when I married Tom and left the SGC things would be different. I knew work would be boring, and I knew I wouldn't see the Colonel, Daniel, and Teal'c as much, but I didn't realize it would be quite like this. I didn't believe Daniel when he told me that everyone's enthusiasm for the project had gone, but I know my enthusiasm for life without it is gone. Tom insisted that I keep as little as possible from my time at the SGC. So all I kept were two pictures. One of SG-1, Hammond, my dad in Earth clothes, Janet and Cassie that I hung on the living room wall, and one of "just the guys." Just the four of us smiling and being together at the end of a mission that went well. That one is framed and is on my dresser. Tom always understood, or at least I thought he did. I'm broken out of my reverie by my husbands nagging voice.

"Samantha, why can't you just get rid of them?"

"We've been over this Tom" I say grinding my teeth. "Those are more than just ex-coworkers; they're more like family."

"Family that hasn't even called you in months?" He sneers at me.

"I'm sure they've just been busy." I respond, but I'm not so sure.

She thought she'd done some living, but now she's just wonderin' What she's living for, Now she's feeling that there's something more, IS there life out there, she's done what she should, should she do what she dares, she doesn't want to leave, she's just wonderin Is there life out there, She's always lived for tomorrow never learned to live for today, she's dyin to try something foolish, Do something crazy, or just get away, do something for herself for a change, would she do it the same as she did back then, she looks out the window and wonders again Is there life Out There

The song had crept into my brain unwanted, and I can tell tom's been rambling the whole time not noticing my vacant expression.

"You have to get rid of them Samantha. You'll never be happy until you get the memory of them out of your sight everyday."

The phone is ringing now and it cuts him off. "You get it; I have to go to work. I love you." He says and then kisses the top of my head.

"Hello?" I say into the cordless.

"Major Carter, this is General Hammond. Is this a secure line?"

GENERAL HAMMOND

"No sir, it isn't." She replies as if she's only been gone a day-not more than a year.

"Major I need to ask you a favor."

"Anything sir."

"Major, I need to know if you would be willing to return to us for a search and rescue mission. It's your old team. They have been captured in enemy territory, one of your fathers' co-workers informed us. He also said that only one or two people would be able to pull off a successful rescue. He said we needed the best." I end there hoping I've made enough of an impression of how dire the situation is, I can't say anymore over an insecure line.

"Sir are you asking me to permanently come back?"

"Major I could never ask you to give up the life you have made outside of here. I promise, you need only to return for this rescue then you may return home."

"But sir, that's exactly the problem. If I go and rescue my team, I can't return here. Tom and I had a fight about the pictures I had kept from my time there. He told me that I had to get rid of them. If I go back there to help sir, I need to know if there will be a place for me or not. I'm coming either way, but I know that Tom will leave me when he finds out where I went." She says, and I noticed how quickly they have become "her team" again.

"Major, you do understand that you are in no way required to come for this mission?"

"Yes sir, but I don't believe you would have called me if you thought you had any other choice. Besides sir, I haven't really been happy since I left there. Give me a few hours and I'll be there. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Major." I say as I hang up the phone.

I can't believe she is going to sacrifice her new life. I know she gave up a lot-including almost all contact with her father and her friends. Well I guess there is only one thing for me to do. Picking up the red phone I realize that just another one of those days may turn good again, but only if I'm lucky.

SAM

After hanging up the phone, I go upstairs to pack a small bag. I take all the clothes that I actually like-there aren't that many-and shove them in the bag. Almost absentmindedly I pick the picture of SG-1 up off my dresser.

It may sound absurd...but don't be naive, even heroes have the right to bleed. I may be disturbed...but won't you concede even heroes have the right to dream

And with the song that comes unbidden into my head comes a picture of Jack being tortured and hoping for a rescue. Hero to an unknowing world dreaming, but not believing a rescue will come.

"Just hold on Colonel, I'm on my way to get you out."

JACK

"Tell me how do I contact the Tok'ra?" Heh asks me. Daniel has informed me that Heh is the god of infinity-like I actually care.

"I don't know." As I answer Heh raises his hand and a white light comes from his palm directly at my chest, and it feels as if my chest cavity is going to explode from the pain. He lowers his hand, and the explosion in my chest stops, but it still feels as if someone five times the size of Teal'c is sitting on it.

"How do I gain access to the chap'ai on the planet of the Tau'ri?"

"I don't know!" And instead of the hand device, this time it's a pain stick to the middle of my back. Heh says something in go'a'uld to the Jaffa, and once again they pull me back off the ground onto my knees.

"When I was engaged in battle with Sekhmet, I had no idea how luck I would be when I had to stop and make repairs on this planet. I will ask you one more time, what useful information do you posses to keep me from killing you and your team?"

"None."

"Very well then," and this time when he raises his hand, the pain is not in my chest, but in my head. As he lifts his hand I vaguely realize he is speaking again.

"Bring me the clumsy one." With that the Jaffa drag me away.

When we reach the cell, they ceremoniously toss me in-and drag the Captain out.

"Daniel how do they already know he's clumsy?"

"Um, cuz when they were marching us out and Heh was using the hand device on you, Kavousicious sorta tripped over his own feet." Daniel mutters.

"Oh, of course, but there is some good news. I found out why Heh is here, he was fighting with Sekhmet."

"Sekhmet...Sekhmet was the goddess of war an destruction. This new go'a'uld must be taking her new role seriously Jack. Jack?"

I try to answer him, but for some unknown reason my mind is sliding away from the present and towards memories past.

/ "Sir don't pout just because I won't play strip poker. I'm the only female."

"Besides Jack where would strip poker get you except for you, me and Teal'c naked and Sam still fully dressed. She hasn't lost a hand all night. /

/Carter turns to share a private joke with me as Daniel rambles on.

"C'mon Jack if we just picked up the pace a little I could check out the ruins before we make camp..."/

/"Is that tough enough for you are we going to have to arm wrestle?"/

/"Oh, I adore you already Captain"/

When my mind is suddenly jarred to the present, I'm stuck with a song in my head.

LAST NIGHT I HAD A CRAZY DREAM  
A WISH WAS GRANTED JUST FOR ME,  
IT COULD BE FOR ANYTHING  
I DIDN'T ASK FOR MONEY  
OR A MANSION IN MALIBU  
I SIMPLY WISHED, FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU

ONE MORE DAY  
ONE MORE TIME  
ONE MORE SUNSET, MAYBE I'D BE SATISFIED  
BUT THEN AGAIN  
I KNOW WHAT IT WOULD DO  
LEAVE ME WISHING STILL, FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU

And the lyrics are right. I'd do anything, but still I'd want another day.

"Space Monkey?"

"Yeah Jack?"

"You remember that concert we took Cassie to for her birthday?"

"Yeah..."

"I have one of the songs stuck in my head."

SAM

I grab my bag and the picture and I go back downstairs. Once I reach the living room I see the picture of all of us hanging on the wall. It seems as if the picture is mocking me. "Look what you gave up...for what? Try and salvage this now." is what it says to me. I know I can never repair the damage I've done, but if I'm lucky we can move past it. Only one thing left to do now, and that's to tell Tom. He doesn't accept phone calls at work so I'll have to leave him a note. I sit at what has been my kitchen table for over a year now, only to change my life again. Hopefully this time it will be for the better.

_Dear Tom,_

_ By the time you get home from work I will probably be unreachable. If you had only answered the phone this morning, things probably would have worked out differently. I never would have walked away, no matter how unhappy I was. I haven't really been happy since I ran away and left everyone behind. I was running away from myself._

/We both know that I shouldn't be here  
this is wrong

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
'Cause my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know  
'Cause there can be no happy ending

Maybe another time, another day  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back

"Sir, I'm leaving."

"You're finally taking a vacation, carter that's great." He says to me smiling that smile I've come to realize that is especially for me.

"No sir."

"No?" And the smile has fallen from his face. For just a second he looks devastated, but a second later he has pulled the mask back over his features.

"No sir, I'm leaving permanently. I met a man named Tom and we're going to get married. You were always ordering me to get a life, and I did sir."

"You're getting married, so why are you leaving?"

"Sir it would be kind of hard to keep up the 'deep space radar telemetry' front if I was gone for days at a time. And what happens if I get seriously injured?" I say knowing that the real reason I'm leaving sits right in front of me. I want him so much, love him so much, I can't stand the pain anymore. If I get away the pain will go away too...I hope. My eyes beg him to see the real reason, to ask me to stay. That one word is all it would take, but he doesn't ask, and deep down I knew he wouldn't. He's too proud to beg...even to beg someone he 'cares about a lot more than he was supposed to.'

"Well Carter, have a good life. We all need to try and keep in touch."/

But we never did. Shaking away the memory I go back to the task at hand.

_Tom I was running away from the people I loved. I thought I had loved them too much. When you told me today that I had to get rid of the pictures I knew that you didn't love me quite enough. You wanted me to get rid of the only memories of people who cared about me enough to let me go, to make my own mistakes. General Hammond was the phone call you so callously ignored today. My team needs to be rescued, and I'm going. I know that you will leave me if I go back to do this, so I've arranged to be able to stay there. I've taken everything that was really mine in this house. I'll be ready to sign the papers if and when I make it back from this mission. I'm sorry, but they need me in a way you never have. For the record I did love you, but in the end my love just wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry Tom I never meant to hurt you, I'm just cursed that way._

_Love,_

_Sam_

Folding the note over and leaving it on the table where I know he'll find it, I grab my car keys, my bag and my picture and walk towards the door. When I'm standing in the doorway I take one last look around the room searching for happy memories. Anything to keep me from making this leap of faith, to keep me from changing my life so drastically again. The only thing I see is the picture of all of us still hanging on the wall.

There's a ship out on the ocean, at the mercy of the sea, It's been tossed about, lost and broken, wandering aimlessly, and God somehow you know this ship is me, cuz there's a lighthouse in a harbor shining faithfully, pouring it's light out across the water for this sinking soul to see, that someone out there still believes in me...on a prayer in a song I hear your voice, and it keeps me hanging on, raining down against the wind, I'm reaching out, 'til we reach the circles end, and you come back to me again

I go and grab my picture off the wall, and I walk out the door towards the rest of my life, singing a bittersweet song to myself, and I say out loud "I'm coming home guys."

GENERAL HAMMOND

Two hours later I'm still on the phone with the president. I've spent two hours convincing him of my opinion. It took a whole three seconds to ok Major Carter's return to the SGC and SG-1 for that matter. My other opinions he doesn't like so much.

"Mr. President, Major carter is giving up her entire life outside of here to go rescue them. Can you honestly tell me that love is a bad thing to have on a team?"

"Entire life?"

"Yes sir. Her husband does not like her return here and will be divorcing her for it. However, even though she is not obligated to come and attempt to save them, she is still coming. She is coming to risk her life for a team she is no longer a part of-hasn't been for more than a year-simply because I asked her to. I highly doubt it's the only reason. I believe she is coming back here to do this because she cares about the people here." I can only hope he agrees with me now, I've played my last trump card.

"She's coming back for a rescue mission?"

"Yes sir."

"General I really don't know how, but you've convinced me. If Major Carter somehow makes it back with SG-1, I will leave the fraternization regulations to the base commander. However, you will need to inform me of any peoples you allow to pursue relationships. We can head off anyone who wants to make complaints that way."

"Thank you very much sir." I hang up the phone just as the object of my conversation is knocking.

"Enter." As she enters I hear snippets of a song enter with her.

Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test and don't ask why  
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time  
It's something unpredictable   
But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life  
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while  
It's something unpredictable  
But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life

/ I don't have a problem with you because you're a woman...I like women...I just have a little problem with scientists./

/"O'Neill, wild equines would be unable to drag me away"/

/"Jack they're artifacts not rocks/

/ General, Carter wanted to know, when we get back from PSX-9er-whatever will she be able to take time to play with her doohickeys/

Oh I'd say it's unpredictable. Who would have thought a team made up of a sarcastic colonel, a female scientist/captain, an archeologist/linguist, and an alien wouldn't only be right, it'd be damn near perfect.

"Sir I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but traffic was horrible."

"Major the last I heard you lived four hours away in good traffic and weather, it's only been two hours since I spoke to you."

"Yes sir" she answers me rather sheepishly. "I was just wondering when I ship out?"

"As soon as you're ready."

"I'll be in the gate room in ten minutes sir."

"Dismissed." She gets up, and walks towards the door, but when she reaches it she turns back around.

"Sir, I was just wondering if there is any way I could come back to the SGC as a civilian, and not Air Force?"

"I'll consider the option while you are gone. We can discuss it when you bring them home. For the time being though consider yourself Air Force. I have complete faith in you." I say

"Thank you sir." She says and leaves my office in the direction of the locker room. I'll tell her the president's decision when she brings them home safe.

Unpredictable: yes. Right: yes. Time of my life: hell yes! I wouldn't change any of this for the world.

SAM

After I get myself geared up for the first time in way to long, I make my way to the gate room. Even after over a year I know this path so well I could navigate it blind. On my way I hear a song I used to love play over the loudspeakers.

How the hell did we wind up like this?  
Why weren´t we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
and tried to turn the tables?  
Now the story´s played out like this  
just like a paperback novel  
Let´s rewrite an ending that fits  
instead of a Hollywood horror  
Nothin´s wrong just as long as you know that someday I will  
Someday, somehow I´m gonna make it alright,  
but not right now  
I know you´re wondering when  
(You´re the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow I´m gonna make it alright,

It's the second time in as many months that a song I used to love just hits to close to home. Standing at the base of the ramp I wait for the gate to activate. When it does I hear Hammonds voice.

"Major you have a go. Bring them home safe."

I give him a quick salute, and right before I step through the gate I say to myself, 'Jack we're gonna fix this as soon as I bring you home.'

JACK

When they brought Kavousicious back they took Daniel. With the lack of anyone to really talk to, I let my memories take hold of me again.

/ "No?" I ask

"No sir. I met a man named Tom and we're going to be married..." She's still talking, but all I can hear are the words 'Tom' and 'married.'

I don't know whether to laugh or cryI don't know whether to live or die  
And it cuts like a knife  
She's out of my life

To think for two years that she was here  
And I took her for granted  
I was so cavalier  
Now the way that it stands  
She's out of my hands

So I've learned that love is not possession  
And I've learned that love won't wait  
Now I've learned love needs expression  
But I learned much too late

And she's out of my life  
Out of my life  
Damned indecision and cursed pride  
Kept my love for her locked deep inside

I can only bring myself to look into her eyes for just a second, and I thought I saw something there, but then it was gone. If I thought it would work I would get down on my knees and beg, plead with her to stay here with me. But if there is one person on this planet with more pride than me, it's Sam Carter. That would only push her further away.

So I say the only thing I can.

"Well Carter have a good life, we all need to keep in touch." But looking at her face I know we won't. She's running away, and I'm afraid it's because of me. Ever since the damn zat'a'rac testing we've been acting differently, and in the end she's running away. /

I know why I think of Sam at times like these. I miss her, and at times like these I miss her most. If she was still at the SGC she would move heaven and Earth to get us home. Hell they probably don't even know anything is wrong yet. We weren't even due back for another day.

A little while later I'm still lost in my thoughts when Daniel is tossed back into the cell.

"Jack I don't think Heh is ever going to let us go."

"Hammond will figure out a way to get us out, he always does."

"I hope you're right Jack."

'So do I' I think to myself, and all too soon I can hear the guards coming back.

JACK (A little later)

"Where are the Tok'ra currently based?" Heh asks me.

"I don't know I spit out. It's going to take a lot more than this to break me, but apparently Heh isn't getting that. This is the third time he's tortured me, and he's still asking the same dumb questions. What is it about the go'a'uld, they never learn from their mistakes, then again there are a lot of us that never learn.

/I know why we're here tonight, but I still don't understand. Sam is getting married tomorrow, but Janet-as her maid of honor-didn't see the point in a real bachelorette party. Considering that most of the people here are men, that was probably a good idea. Uh-oh Janet's over there clinking her glass, and that means I'm supposed to give a toast now. The seemingly oh-so-perceptive Janet figured that as her CO and other best friend, I made the most sense. Being who I am of course I do as I'm asked and I stand. Duty and honor that ever present bitch.

Everyone is looking at me and as I raise my glass so does everyone else.

"I would like to make a toast to Major Sam Carter, a wonderful woman, great 2IC, and not least; brilliant scientist. Tomorrow..." and my voice falters a little as song lyrics pop into my head.

All my time is froze in motion  
Can't I stay an hour or two or more  
Don't let me let you go  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Pushing the lyrics aside I continue my toast.

"Tomorrow she will be leaving us. She is going to be getting married, and they are going to be moving a few hours away. Tonight we are here to remember the good, and maybe even some of the bad times we have shared with her. When I first met Sam I didn't think I was going to like her, but I-as so many of us were-was proven wrong. Sam, good luck with your new life, no one will ever be able to replace you in our hearts."

A chorus of cheers goes up around me, but I can't hear any of it. Tomorrow she leaves us, she leaves me. /

Heh's use of the ribbon device on me drags me back to the present. When I consider the options, I'm not sure which hurts more; the memories or the ribbon device.

"Why will you not give me the information I know you posses? If you tell me all of your suffering will stop."

"Cuz I don't deal with snake heads!" He raises the hand with the ribbon device again, and once again it feels as if all my internal organs are going to explode.

As I get closer to the darkness the pain suddenly stops. Before the darkness claims me I could've sworn I saw Sam holding two zats.

SAM

Getting to the ship wasn't a problem. This new go'a'uld must really be sure of himself. There were only six Jaffa between here and the gate. Four on the path, and two guarding the door into the ship. Using two zats at one time was a great idea, I'm just glad I'm ambidextrous.

A while later I round the corner, and see another three Jaffa. I shoot the first two and move my right hand to shoot the third when a zat blast comes from the other direction. A second and third blast come from the same direction, disintegrating the Jaffa. As I turn to do the same to the two I had stunned, I hear a man speaking. He steps out from behind the pillar, holding his hands in the air to show that he is no threat.

"I mean you no harm, my name is Orion. I am of the Tok'ra."

"It's ok you can put your hands down. My name is Major Carter."

"I know. I have changed my mind. I am willing to help you rescue the rest of your team. How many of the Jaffa have you killed?"

"Including these three...twenty-seven."

"That only leaves three more, and of course Heh himself."

"Can you show me where they are?"

"This way, the last three Jaffa will be with Heh."

As we walk down the corridor, I can hear Jack screaming in pain. I take off at a run towards the door, and Orion follows me, activating it as we reach it. As we burst through the door the three Jaffa are zatted before they even realize what is going on.

Heh lifts the hand using the ribbon device on Jack and turns towards us. He starts to speak,

"I am your..." but he is cut off as Orion and I both zat him.

I turn to look at Jack as he falls unconscious and I am hit by a powerful memory.

/ Janet decided that we didn't have enough female friends, so instead of throwing me an actual bacholerette party she got everyone together at the same bar we've been coming to since the beginning.

I hear the sound of a spoon clinking a glass, and I turn around as Colonel O'Neill-Jack, no colonel no major. They're gone tonight, and tomorrow Sam will be gone too. Samantha will be in her place.-stands up. He raises his glass and begins to speak.

"I would like to make a toast to Major Sam Carter, a wonderful woman..." and that is all I hear.

'Do you really think I'm a wonderful woman Jack? Just ask me to stay and I will; but you won't. You're too strong and proud to beg. It's one of the reasons I love you so much.' My thoughts are cut off by a song someone in the bar has started on the jukebox. It's playing quietly in the corner furthest away from us, but the words are pounding in my head as if coming from a loudspeaker.

We know I'm going away  
How I wish...wish it weren't so  
Take this wine & drink with me  
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes with one desire  
To take me away...it's true  
It ain't easy to say goodbye  
Darling please don't start cry  
'Cause girl you know I've got to go  
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone

As the song ends I hear a chorus of "cheers" all around me. I look into Jacks eyes and all I can do is agree with the lyrics. I wish I didn't have to go. /

"Major carter?" My mind is brought back to the present by Orion calling my name.

"Yeah I'm here Orion, but we have to wake him up." I say to him as I kneel down beside Jack trying to get him to regain consciousness.

"Colonel, Sir...Jack"

"Sam...are you really here?"

"Yes sir. I'm here to get you guys home. Heh and all his Jaffa are dead. Can you get up, can you walk?"

"Yeah, but we can't go anywhere til we find Daniel, Teal'c, and the stupid Captain."

"I can show you where they are, just follow me." Orion speaks up for the first time since Jack woke up.

"Thank you Orion. Lead the way." I say.

"Who's that?" Jack whispers to me.

"That's Orion he's a Tok'ra, he was undercover on this ship. He's the one who sent a message to General Hammond saying you needed to be rescued."

JACK

We're following along behind Orion for a few minutes before I decide I have to ask.

"Carter, why are YOU here to rescue us?" I ask her.

"When Orion spoke to Hammond he said only one or two people would be able to pull off a successful rescue. He also said that they would have to be very good. General Hammond figured I'd be the best chance." She says to me, but I notice that she didn't really answer my question.

"I figured that much out by myself. Why did you come back here to rescue us?"

She stops then, and she turns around to face me before she answers.

"Because no one gets left behind. You'd have done the same for me I know" Having said that she turns around and continues walking.

"So when do you go home?" I ask.

"I'm not going back t..."

"SAM!" She's cut off by Daniel's enthusiastic greeting. We must have reached the cell they were keeping us in without me even realizing it.

GENERAL HAMMOND

Half time goes by  
Suddenly you're wise  
Another blink of an eye  
67 is gone  
The sun is getting high  
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment  
Dying for just another moment  
And I'm just dreaming  
Counting the ways to where you are

When you only got 100 years to live

Going back to my office the song playing in the corridors follows me. If I only have a hundred years to live, then I'm grateful that I've spent so many of them here with these people.

When I think of how it could have worked out differently, how many times SG-1 saved the world. That's what it all comes down to again and again; SG-1. Sometimes I wonder what might have happened if I had assigned the team differently. At the time a lot of people knocked me for doing it my way, and I almost gave into the pressure.

/ "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man."

"Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial." Maybourne says to him.

"I'm not gonna hit you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you."/

/ "Doohickey?" I say.

"I believe that's the technical term for it sir." Colonel O'Neill says to me./

/ "Oh by the way Colonel, with interest, you owe me $539.50/

Now I'm glad I didn't listen.

UNAUTHORIZED OFF-WORLD ACTIVATION

And with the klaxons blaring I push my thoughts to the side and hope against hope that it's SG-1 coming home.

SAM

We joke as we walk down the ramp, and I see cheering people in the control room. I also notice that captain Kavousicious is off to one side and not talking to any of us. I feel bad for him, it's not his fault he had to replace me.

My thoughts are cut off by Jack speaking to General Hammond.

"Sir I'd love to debrief, right after I debrief myself for a long hot shower."

"Permission to shower granted, in fact I insist on it." Hammond says back with a smile.

"Bad?"

"I wasn't going to say anything." I say to him, and as we walk away towards the locker room I realize that we had almost the exact same conversation on one of my last missions. I guess the talk we had on the way back to the gate helped.

JACK

The debriefing really didn't last long, and I think that Captain Kavousicious was okay with the fact that he was being transferred off of SG-1 now that Sam was back.

However, Hammond is going to have to change his plans once Sam and I can talk to him. We talked on the long trek back to the gate, and we decided that we can't let this go any longer. We almost lost one another for good, and we're not giving up so easily again.

As the briefing ends I open my mouth to speak, but General Hammond beats me to the punch.

"Colonel, Major, I'd like to speak to you in my office please." He says to us.

Teal'c and Daniel shoot us supportive looks as we get up to follow the General. I don't know what he has to say, but I plan on letting him know exactly what my feelings are.

GENERAL HAMMOND

As I sit behind my desk, I look up to see my two favorite military personnel standing as rigidly at attention as I have ever seen. I chuckle inwardly as I begin to speak.

"Colonel, Major please sit down." I say waving to the chairs in front of my desk. They do as they are asked, but are still not any more comfortable. Jack sits fidgeting with his pants legs, and Sam sits staring at her hands.

"Major, I've considered the request you made before you left on your mission."

"Yes sir?" She answers looking up for the first time since sitting down.

"I'm sorry Major, but I cannot allow you to return as a civilian." Jack interrupts before I can continue.

"In that case sir, I would like to retire." I'm going to have a little bit of fun with this before I tell them.

"I'm sorry Colonel, but I cannot allow that either. You are both too important to the Air Force, the SGC, and SG-1 for that matter to lose." I say to him.

"If I have to I'll go AWOL General. Sam and I talked on the way back to the gate. I let her leave me once, and there is no way in hell I'm giving up my second chance!" He yells.

"Jack if you go AWOL we'll find you. all we'd have to do is have Sam followed. Then you'll be in jail. where will that get you?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says, and he looks so crestfallen. I think it's time to let them into my little secret.

"I have an idea. How about you both stay military, you both stay at the SGC, and I'll even throw in both of you on SG-1; on a trial basis at first of course."

"Sir, didn't you hear me? I'm NOT giving up this second chance!" Jack interrupts.

"Jack, let me finish. You can have everything I've already stated AND have a relationship together. I spoke to the president after I called Sam and she said Tom will divorce her. After a long while of convincing on my part he agreed with me. As long as Major Carter got SG-1 back alive against all the odds she was facing, he decided to leave the fraternization regulations to the base commander of the SGC. I just need to inform him who I allow to pursue relationships. You two are going to be my first. I hereby authorize Colonel Jonathon O'Neill and Major Samantha Carter to pursue their 'caring more than they are supposed to'" I finish with a smile.

To say that they are happy about this would be a little bit of an understatement. Jack picks Sam up and swings her around my office in his arms. I assume they must forget I'm here when he sets her down he touches her cheek ever so gently and whispers;

"I love you Sam..."

"I love you too Jack." she whispers right back.

With those words he bends his head to give her a light kiss. Before the situation can get out of hand I give a little cough to let them know I'm still here.

"Sorry General." They mumble together, and they both look rather sheepish.

"It's okay. Just be happy, and don't you have a few people you'd like to share this information with?" I say.

"Yes sir!" And with that they go running out of my office together, and I can hear Jack screaming,

"Space Monkey! Teal'c! Where are you guys, we've gotta tell you something."

As I sit back down at my desk and pick the phone to call the president I smile to myself.

Unpredictable; definitely, Right; it is now.

THREE WEEKS LATER

SAM

After running out of the General's office we told Daniel and Teal'c. They were almost as happy as we were. I went back to what had been my house and found exactly what I thought I would.

/ It's a Saturday so I know Tom will be home. I left Jack and the guys at the hotel. They came with me because they didn't want me to have to do this alone. I step out of the truck, and walk up the path to what used to be my house, and knock on the door.

"Samantha come in." Tom says when he opens the door.

He hands me the divorce papers before he speaks again.

"All you have to do is sign."

"I figured as much." I say as I lean over the kitchen table to sign the papers.

"I can't believe you left me for them Samantha..."

"Tom, Samantha is gone. Samantha was your wife. Sam is here, I think she always was, just beneath the surface. They needed me, needed Sam to save them. that's something you've never needed. You never wanted Sam, you only wanted Samantha, and in the end I couldn't handle never being "Sam" again. I'm sorry."

With that I leave his house and get back in the truck. Time to go back to my friends, my love, my life. /

Tonight we're in the same bar as the night before my wedding. I'm dragged out of my thoughts by Jack.

"Sam, will you dance with me?"

To answer I get up and take his hand. The song is already half over, but that's okay because the words are just right.

There's a moment, we all come to, in our own time and our own space, Where all that we've done we can undo if our hearts get in the right place, on a prayer in a song I hear your voice, and it keeps me hanging on, raining down, against the wind, I'm reaching out til we reach the circles end and you come back to me again, And again I see my yesterdays in front of me, unfolding like a mystery, you're changing all that is and used to be, on a prayer, in a song, I hear your voice, and it keeps me hanging on, raining down, against the wind, I'm reaching out till we reach the circles end, when you come back to me again

When the song ends we rejoin Daniel, Janet, and Teal'c. We sit back down and Jack raises his glass.

"I'd like to make a toast to Sam Carter-soon to be O'Neill-for bringing us home."

I let him make an unfair toast once before, but this is another second chance I'm not going to let go.

"I'd like to change your toast. To Jack O'Neill and all of SG-1. I didn't bring you guys home, you brought me home."

As we drink to our toasts I think to myself. 'I may have had to sacrifice my new life, but I gained the right life.

THE END


End file.
